#bestlife is something I reference a lot in my writing and my marketing. Which is hilarious to my friends who have heard my rant about #bestlife. If you missed it in a previous post, it goes a little something like this: I think everyone can agree that we want to lead our #bestlife. We want to be #authentic, and #grateful. But does it ever feel like #bull$hit? Like this is the most perfect coffee ever and I am so #grateful that my barrista knows exactly how I like it @starbucks? If you missed my sub context, it was #eyeroll. Or the carefully cultivated #authenticity that is staged and filtered like a Hollywood movie? Like a simple pleasure isn’t real unless it is documented, liked and followed?
To say the least #bestlife and I have a tumultuous relationship. But I think it really sums up the situation that we find ourselves in. We want to lead a great life. We want to make a difference. We want to experience things other than struggle and hardship. We might even have an inkling of how we go about this. The essence of #bestlife is sound! We want to explore being grateful for the good things, and celebrate the wins that make our life awesome. But sometimes I feel like #bestlife lets me down. It is like we are so focused on the trivial pleasures of life that it distracts us from the main event. I think this is mostly because leading our actual best life takes a lot of courage. It means you will be venerable. It means you stick your neck out and shine your beautiful light... and sometimes people spit on it. Or do something that makes you dim that light, and hide from the pain, the failure, the opinions, the spotlight.
My first experience with sex wasn’t exactly consensual. It wasn’t violent or anything, it just happened even though I didn’t want it. Basically date rape, which is appallingly common. It came at a time where I was at the height of my confidence, I felt like my light was shining bright. I was healthy, and probably the most physically beautiful I have ever been. In thinking about it afterwards, I really can’t understand why I didn’t do or say anything when it was happening. I just shut down, I didn’t vocalize that I wanted him to stop. Afterwards he said he could tell I wasn’t into it, but I didn’t say anything to stop him. Which really confounds me, because I’m a very vocal person. I love using words, spoken and written. Anyway, back to the light. After this, I became very aware of the wrong kind of attention. When I started to get too confident, or too exuberant, or too wild, I would back down for fear of attracting the wrong attention. Better to govern yourself than have someone take you down a peg or 2 am I right? I spent years staying just outside of that zone of genius (that sweet spot where you feel on top of the world,) because I didn’t want it to bring the pain.
Fast forward 15+ years. I have done counselling, and a lot of thought work about the backlash that event had on my life, so please, don’t think I am a victim or anything. I’m not. Abraham Hicks helped to finally put that monkey to rest in his message about co-creation. Taking responsibility for my part in that situation was incredibly healing. Helping me to process what I needed to, which helped me come to this conclusion: The reason it is so hard to bring your best work to light, and live in that creative space, is that it makes us venerable and brings attention to our life, and our choices. People take notice when you’re shining bright. Some people lash out at you rather than put on some sunglasses. Best case scenario is that they join you in shining their own beauty, but most often you are met with resistance, caution or outright hostility.
This wasn’t what I planned when I sat down to write today. I was getting all fired up about bringing your best to the table, your best to life. I love how the subconscious mind works sometimes. I had been struggling to articulate what I wanted to say about it, and that was the perfect context. So now the main message: You owe it to yourself, to your family, to me, to the world to live your best life. If you’re all like: Woah Batman! Slow down! I don’t owe you nothin’ Hear me out. What if Steve Jobs didn’t decide to grab life by the balls and go for it? What if Christopher Columbus decided to listen to the caution that he would sail off the edge of the earth? Frederick Banting? Tony Robbins? VanGogh? Martin Luther King? I have to stop because this list could go on forever. Seriously.
What if what you have inside you means your name belongs on this list? And you’re hiding behind fear. What if your superpower is the missing piece of the puzzle that helps solve global warming? Maybe you don’t want to be on a list like this, but maybe your best life means you are able to be the best, most loving mother, wife and friend. An oasis in the storm for everyone who meets you? The beautiful thing about the world is that we all have unique super powers. Every. Last. Person. Has a zone of genius. A place where you are at your creative best. And, yes. It can be terrifying. But it can also be beautiful, empowering, awe inspiring and world changing. So, I will end this by challenging you to bring it. Explore your super power and figure out how to operate in your zone of genius.